Keeping Kids Safe from Online Predators

As long as the internet has been widely available for chats, instant messaging, and email, potential sexual predators have taken advantage of the seemingly anonymous means of communication to sexually exploit children and teens. "Online predator" and "internet predator" became household terms with the launch of the now-defunct Dateline NBC program "To Catch a Predator."

In this program, producers would work with Perverted Justice decoys who would pose as underage teens and arrange meetings with adults they met on the internet. When the adults would show up at the designated meeting point, they would find cameras in their faces and host Chris Hansen asking, "What were you planning to do?"

The show was cancelled amid complaints of entrapment, conflict of interest between law enforcement and show business, and the suicide of a prosecutor featured on the show as police arrived to arrest him at his home.

Still, just because the series is not producing any new episodes does not mean that internet predators have gone away.

The term "internet predator" conjures images of a pedophile lurking behind a computer screen actively seeking out children to manipulate and sexually abuse. The truth is that these cases often involve an adult who strikes up a friendly conversation with someone and later realizes the person is much younger. By this point, the friendship is established and lines quickly become blurred. Friendship turns to flirting which then turns to sexually explicit conversation and the discussion of meeting to further the relationship.

While the threat of online sexual predators is likely overblown, it is nonetheless a present risk to children and teens, and parents are wise to implement internet policies in the home that can minimize that risk.

How can parents keep their kids safe from internet predators and online sexual exploitation?

First, it is important to understand how internet predators work so that you can help warn your children against inappropriate online relationships. Instead of offering candy or a puppy from a van, an internet predator offers friendship, rapport, and affection. This establishes trust between your child and the adult who wants to abuse him or her. The Microsoft Safety and Security Center lists additional ways internet predators work:

• They begin talking to kids through social networks, discussion boards and forums, chat rooms, and continue the conversations through instant messaging and email.
• They keep up to date on current trends so that they can relate to children through their favorite bands or artists, songs, games, television shows, and movies, and through their hobbies.
• They listen carefully to children, offering attention, affection, and support.
• They introduce sexual content gradually, easing children into the idea and turning a friendship sexual almost without the child noticing.

But now that you understand how online predators find, manipulate, and seduce their victims, how can you use the information to protect your kids?

The FBI and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) are but two of the many federal agencies and organizations that offer internet safety tips for parents in an effort to end online child sexual exploitation. Perhaps the most important things you can do to prevent your child from being sexually exploited are to communicate with your child, set rules and policies for internet usage, and monitor and supervise your child on the computer.

• Talk to your child about online predators. Let them know how they work so that they more easily identify when they are being manipulated by an adult.
• Do not allow your child to use social media before the network policies allow them to (usually 13). When they do get an account, let them know that you will be monitoring their profile and their email. Being up front about your access to their accounts and your reasons for doing so.Your child will be far less angry about you "violating his privacy" if you don't do it behind his back. It also helps your child make wiser decisions from the start knowing that mom or dad is watching.
• Teach your children about protecting their privacy, never revealing personally identifying information. Tell them you must approve any photos or videos before you post them online.
• Monitoring and blocking software are useful tools, but they cannot replace parental supervision.
• All technology devices, including computers and smartphones, should be kept in a common area of the house and not in your child's room. Your child cannot stay up late texting if his or her phone is in your room, and it is much harder to visit an inappropriate chat room in the living room next to your parents than it is to do so behind your locked bedroom door.
• Tell children that they are never to talk about sex online.
• Teach children to never arrange a face-to-face meeting with someone they first met online.

Be open and honest with your kids, and try to share their interests. If your child is drawn into online video games, play with him or her--don't leave it up to an adult stranger to engage with your children online.

If, despite your best efforts to prevent it, you find that your child is involved in an inappropriate online relationship, report the potential predator to the NCMEC CyberTipline.